So true:

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Ice bucket challenge

So Monday one of my colleagues nominated me for the ice bucket challenge. I had just got back from volunteering for a CoppaFeel! at Leeds Festival, talking about #whatnormalfeelslike to the lovely festival crowed people, witch I absolutely loved doing. It’s so good being able to spread CoppaFeel!’s message of getting to know #whatnormalfeelslike and signing people up to regularly check their boobs. I told people I would not do it within 24 hrs- but I would do it, because doing something for charity is important!
So here is a clip of the final 15 sec- basically me bring drenched.

I decided to do it for #CoppaFeel! as I really believe in the work that they do. So anyone wanting to do this challenge why not do it for CoppaFeel! Or run a half marathon for them, cycle from Coast to Coast, or anything you can think of.

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Edingburgh

I just went up to Glasgow for a short weekend to see one of my friends from uni. We ended up going to Edinburgh for the fringe festival.
Whilst I did not enjoy the masses of people- arghh…I hate, hate, hate being in those kinda cattle markets!!! I really enjoyed the the show that we saw.
We had not bought tickets in before hand- so after looking at the day planner, I suggested we should see “Wittanks Old School Secrets”. For anyone who went to boarding school- or Durham University- the logical choice for boarders…it’s a must see!

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After watching that we walked back to the train station to get back to Glasgow. On our way back we got to see a really cool sunset 😀😀😀

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All in all a really cool day out!!!

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My cancerversary treat 👠👠👠

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2 years!!!

Ha, so as those of you that are friends with me on Facebook might have noticed- last week was my 2 year cancerversary!!!
What even my friends on Facebook won’t know, is that I forgot it! I had to look at the calendar to figure out what day two years ago I was diagnosed. I think that’s hilarious!!! It’s a bit like forgetting your own birthday, your wedding anniversary or any other significant date in your life.

Not only did I forget when it was, but I also forgot that it was my actual anniversary…it’s only when I was talking to one of my cancer friends about cancer related schmalocks, that I realised that it had been two years. Haha- suppose that’s what happens when you are busy living.

This years cancerversary is in stark contrast to last years’…last year I was in the midst of a 3 month stay in a psychiatric hospital- as I was unable to physically pull myself out of the sludge that I found myself in as a result of my breast cancer diagnosis and my ex-boyfriend breaking up with me half way through it, in a less than gentlemanly way!

Last year I found it difficult to concentrate on the most simple tasks- be it read a book, knit, or complete a crossword puzzle! I also found it extremely difficult to spend time by myself- being alone, meant having time to dwell on what had happened, and worry about what might happen- instead if just enjoying the presence. I was stuck in a hamster wheel- concentrating on the same things over and over again, unable to get out of this exhausting rut. Ultimately I was just not enjoying life, as I wasn’t living, but existing, existing in fear.

This year, its very much the opposite, I am travelling around, working, hitting sales targets and spending quite a bit if time by myself. Now, the time that I spend by myself is not me sitting in a corner pitying myself, nor am I just sitting on the sofa watching “Pointless”. I am going to the gym, running along the canal (must find a running club), driving up and down the country to see my friends. I would spend more time with my friends- but seeing that they live scattered around the world, this is kinda difficult! I suppose I could do an around the world trip 😀…. In the meantime I try to see my friends as much as possible.

I still have concentration issues- think they were always there, and were heightened through chemotherapy and the cancer worries. I no longer am stuck in the hamster wheel, well I hardly think about breast cancer… Sometimes, when their is less positive news about a fellow cancer friend, either because of spread or them passing away, then the fear mobily gets going again…but it’s more easily silenced now! And to quote a previously posted picture “worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening, but it will stop you enjoying the good stuff”. (And for those that told me to stop worrying before- you can’t just switch it off…you gotta learn to handle it…and then it switches if by itself!!)

This year has been one of finding a silver lining- my silver lining in this cancer malachie is raising awareness of breast cancer, finding a way to introduce charitable work into my work place, and starting to travel again. Ultimately my silver lining is learning to live, enjoy it and doing something worthwhile with life. It doesn’t mean that every cancer patient must go out and raise awareness, run zillions of marathons and travel the world- although it does seem a lot of us do that. One can also finally pursue ones career ambitions, build a house, or go back to college.

This year has also been a year of prioritising- looking at my work life balance- or rather lack of. Before I had cancer I always, always put work first- I would not go on holiday, not see my friends, and even not go to the Dr.’s because it did not suite my working hours. Funnily enough this did not always reflect in my numbers. This year I have concentrated on ensuring that I do go on holidays, that I do see my friends, that I do go to the Gym, and my numbers are better than they were before.
I suppose, I have found myself!

Before I go, a big massive thank you to my friends and family that have supported me throughout and since my breast cancer diagnosis. Big shout out out to all that have supported my running antics in aid of CoppaFeel!- you will find me running one more Half-Marathon this year- 4 is enough for my first year of running them! Donations are still greatly appreciated 😉.

So “Happy Cancerversary”; to life, to living, screw cancer!!

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To live!

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Love, peace and happiness… Utopia

Whilst my blog is as it’s essence about the entire breast cancer malachi, mainly on life after breast cancer, raising money for CoppaFeel! and spreading the CoppaFeel! Message to as many young people as possible- tonight I have decided to hijack it for another topic!
I studied History and Politics of the Middle East with Arabic and -this should come to no surprise to people that know me- is my 1st love. I love boobs- I love raising breast cancer awareness- I love talking boobs- but I love politics even more.
With this prelude, it should come as know surprise that I at the moment am very verbal on social media, namely Facebook- arguing with my friends about what is happening at the moment in Gaza.
Before I go any further, people who don’t know me, should be made aware that I am half German and half English. My dad’s family were very opposed to the 3rd Reich, my mum has Jewish ancestry, making her- and
me for that matter, Jewish- at least in the eyes of an Orthodox Jew- as being Jewish is passed down the maternal side of the family. (I guess you always know who the mother was 😀).
I can only speak from an outsiders point of view. I have never been to Palestine or Israel- but I have friends who are Palestinian refugees, as well as friends who have visited Gaza and the West Bank, on one occasion actually delivering medical aid to Palestine. I also have met many an Israeli, both when I was at school, and when I lived in Egypt. I have also studied this subject very thoroughly, attempting to be as objective as possible.
The British empire was rather unfortunate in simultaneously supporting the Zionist Movements efforts of creating a Jewish Homeland and protecting the rights of the indigenous Arabs, and supporting them in their fight against the Ottoman Empire. One can argue that Britain tried to straddle this rather unfortunate conflict of interest, as they were interested in keeping control of the Suez Canal, their gateway to their Eastern Empire. The evil of the Third Reich further cemented the Jewish peoples need for a homeland, as they, quite rightly felt that they were not welcome in any of the European countries.
In 1948 Israel was created, and that’s were the real problems in the Middle East begin. Israel has a right to exist…it was established and it would be wrong to undo this. But simultaneously the Palestinians have a right to their own country too, Palestine was not “a land without people, for people without land”. Around the late 19th Century only about 8% of the Population in Palestine was Jewish, compared to over 75% in the 21st Century. This kind of demographic change is not by chance.
Throughout the last 60 years, both parties have tried to further their causes and have done little to attempt to reconcile their interests. Israel has pursued a policy of displacing, segregating, humiliating and isolating the Palestinian people. Whilst the Palestinians have through militant means, including the questionable policy of suicide bombings and rocket attacks attempted drawn attention to their plight, and have unfortunately voted
in a political party, Hamas, that does not serve their best interests, but seems to have a mission of its own.
Killing innocent people is wrong- their is no justification for this. Their is no justification for suicide bombings, nor for indiscriminate air raids. Arguing that as a country has a right to self defence, this legitimises the killing of innocent civilians is wrong, especially when these civilians have no where to go, as they are surrounded by a border fence, and the border crossings are closed.
I cannot understand how the world can watch Israel commit these atrocities, and drop bombs on the biggest open air prison their is in the world. These attacks cannot be justified by anyone, as being a response to Hamas, as they are not solely targeting Hamas, but accepting and justifying human, civilian casualties. These are war crimes that if they had happened during the Third Reich would have been tantamount to Genocide.
I do not understand how a people that suffered so much discrimination, persecution, and violence, which culminated in the Holocaust, can justify this degree if violence and death towards another people.
I also cannot accept that any criticism towards the Israeli government is immediately dubbed antisemitic. I don’t agree with the Israeli government- this does not make me hate Jews!!! Israel needs to be held responsible for their actions, so criticism needs to be voiced openly.
This conflict will not be solved through war but through reconciliation talks on both sides, and ensuring all people have the same access to resources and jobs.

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Gearing up…

Rihan:

This is sooo how i felt 2 years ago!!

Originally posted on Oblivion Calling Out:

It’s hard to believe that a mere month ago I was focused on trying to learn the ropes at work and finding the perfect dress for my friend’s wedding. Now, I’m having to decide between having my body pumped full of chemicals before or after getting my breasts hacked off.

It’s disgusting. It makes my stomach churn, makes everything I eat taste like cardboard and takes the fun out of everything I love doing. I feel like there’s so much pressure on me to make the right decision — yet there is no right decision. There’s no clear cut solution, no one road to take. The only one who can decide is me.

The MRI showed another mass in my right breast. The doctors don’t know if it’s cancerous, but it’s obviously not a good thing now to have two tumors growing in there. It eliminates the possibility of…

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Scottish Highlands

I wanna spend a proper holiday here!!!

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Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

Cards of Hope

Inspiring Hope one card at a time

I am the First

“I am the First in my family line who will not suffer. I am the First who will not wake up scared everyday. I am the First to take this Step to end this Curse. I am the First who will change our family’s fate. But…… I will not be the last” – Bec Munn 2014

bellesmots2000dotcom

Poetry, Prose, General Observations About Life

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